thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
