My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize