You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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