I'm lost and stupid without you.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
