and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
