Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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