fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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