i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize