Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
