Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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