I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
