The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I got inside last night via doggy door
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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