I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
