I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
This is classic penis vs brain.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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