In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize