I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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