WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
True strength comes from lack of pants
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
