and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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