My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
