i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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