We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
