im drinking this country out of the recession.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
