I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
