How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
