He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
