Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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