hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
