Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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