Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
