Umm I'm too high to move.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize