"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I touched a dick in church today
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
