I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
