Whod you bang
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I just found a bag of teeth...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
