that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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