Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
