oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
