A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i barfeds in our rink
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
