So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
