Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Alive.
So much puke
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
