and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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