I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
