Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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