when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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