Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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