allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Let's paint friendship bongs
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
