Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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