The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
