Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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