dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
