Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Randomize
