Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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