At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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