i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
