bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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