is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
