yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize