I wish I could punch you in the face.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize