Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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