I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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