Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize