Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
