pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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