i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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