We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
