Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
