At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
